yoga mindset: To die for the life that is waiting for me

i feel as if I've been doing yoga my whole life. when i was a teenager i'd stretch out on the floor and do yoga... altho i just thought i was stretching... i'd close my eyes and put my fingers in my ears and listen to the rhythm of my breathing. i took a real class after college and it was then that it dawned on me...oh i was doing yoga! it has been a part of my life ever since. i studied with rebecca and dean lerner in lemont, pa for 10 years. part of that included a child birth prep course that rebecca taught and yoga while i was pregnant with my oldest child. i moved to WA and found a teacher there... moved to NY state and failed to find a class out in the sticks. it was then that my teacher from WA's words came to me "Teach". i had a one year old baby and the prospects of finding work in my field was daunting so i but a class together and went knocking on doors. after not too long several of them opened and i have been teaching ever since. It has actually been 14 years. i go to trainings or advanced workshops and seek on line classes etc all the time. however, it wasnt until life got harder that my yoga actually came to mean anything to me. i went thru a divorce, lost employment, went on welfare, lost myself, to then find myself and love again to only realize the impermanence of it all and have to stand on the razors edge again and risk losing everything and "die" in this moment all over again... now is when yoga matters when even while all of the turmoil is going on that i can stand in myself and not let fear devour me.